Where to begin?

It’s quite easy to get lost in your own world, where the daily highs and lows of living, loving and working can chip away at your spirit. Days can become filled with what ifs, buts and the disappointments of what almost was, but once in a while something will happen which sends you crashing back down to earth. Something so brutal will happen to someone so close to your heart that it robs you of all comprehension of, well, everything, and it slams your own issues into a new perspective.

How could this happen?

It always seemed like tragedy like this should be reserved for fiction or for cases in the paper and on the news- always there but distant enough not to impact our own little cocooned lives. But I guess that isn’t real life. 

So how do you help someone through the darkest days of their life? I can’t quite wrap my head around how love can become so twisted and bruised that it becomes used as a weapon. Possibly the most painful weapon there is. But it does, and it has. And all I can do is try to help from a distance, not able to physically comfort or emotionally understand as much as I wish I could.

It’s a waiting game. That’s all it really can be. There are no set time limits for healing or recovering from horror, and there is no guide on how to be a good friend when the chips are down like they are now. I’ve been in this position as a friend before, and although I can now better understand the concept of what we’re dealing with, I’m four years older but still none the wiser as to how anything I really say or do can help to mend a heart which might now be forever broken in some way. How could I possibly fully grasp this kind of loss? I couldn’t in 2012, and I can’t either in 2016.

But if you’re reading this, know that I’m here, and I will do everything I can to get us through and share the pain you must be feeling. No matter how long it takes. 

Love you always.

C.

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