I’m currently sitting at gate C10 of Köln-Bonn airport waiting to fly back to Hamburg after a lovely break down in Southern Bavaria. I’m doing something I love the most right now: people watching. What better way to pass the time than by writing mindless prose?
So I’m going to compile a list for you of the various kinds of people you may find dwelling at the departure gate twenty minutes before boarding:
Often to be found with their hand decorated in henna ink having been on some exotic adventure, the Traveller may most often be spotted sporting the poor choice of leopard-print harem pants, flip flops (it’s March in Germany. It’s COLD) and a self-tied turban around their head, possibly made from an item of clothing which is not necessarily a scarf. The edgier, the better.
The neglected child:
Not neglected, per se, but at least not the focal point of their parents’ attention before boarding. The neglected child in this situation is creating some sort of ship from tin-foil while his mother is on her iPad. Quite impressive really, but the mum doesn’t care.
The von Trapps:
The modern day von Trapps are to be found toting backpacks and wearing fleeces in a broad and often unsightly variety of colours. Not a guitar in sight, but the parents with numerous offspring sit together, some often on the floor, looking about to burst into song. I’m still waiting.
The galloping toddler:
Running around like a headless chicken, the galloping toddler is bound to- oh wait, he’s already fallen.
The old couple:
They’ve clearly said everything they’re going to say to each other in the last 50 years or so of marriage, so verbal communication is rare between the old couple. You’ll find them to exchange weary glances and knowing nods in replacement of speech.
The gate racer:
The person who chooses the seat closest to the desk, ready to pounce at the first announcement of boarding. It’s not a race, my friend.
The people watcher:
The people watcher does one of two things: firstly, he or she may just outrightly stare at other passengers at the gate, not giving a damn how they react. Secondly, the people watcher may be sitting tapping away on her iPad writing a new blog post, glancing up every now and then to observe the particularities of her fellow travellers. That’s me, by the way.
The man with a newspaper:
Well, yes. He’s male and he’s reading a newspaper. You get the idea, I’m sure.
The person who has pre-packed so much food you’re fairly sure they must’ve woken up at about 5am to get it all done. Who owns that much Tupperware?!
The screaming child:
Well, the screaming child carries on screaming, while all other passengers pray to be seated far away. You know you’ve done it, too.
The young lovers:
Sitting embraced on the dark leather chairs by the gate, the young lovers are still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. They laugh, they joke, they may even kiss. What they also do is cause others to want to vomit.
That’s all from me for now; time to board. See you soon, Hamburg!